Red X returns from the Nut House
by numbuhunknown
Summary: Just after being jailed, X's truck comes for him, he escapes and goes on crazy adventures and his fun is ruined by the Titans, first chapter is just a dream


X Returns From the Nut-House!

I know I said I'd finish Perfect first but I had some good ideas for this story, so here comes more! This isn't a one-shot either. Still a humor story and this chapter is a bit different, this first chapter is gonna be like The Wizard of OZ. It may sound stupid but read, I think it's got good humor in it. So please R+R and no flaming.

X sat in his prison and sighed. He had recently gone crazy from the Titans recking his new job in Fed X. He swore revenge on them and that he, and his trusty Fed X truck, would be back. He had spent 3 weeks locked up in the nut-house and the guards tormented him daily, but then that one day when he escaped...

"Where am I gonna get a new job now? Wait! I'm still in a tight suit! I CAN'T get a job!" He laughed at this for no apparent reason. "I'm crazy, I'm crazy!" he sand happily. Then he noticed a familiar light coming at his cell. "Not again! Ahhhhhh Help! The Fed X truck!" The truck landed and crashed into his cell. "WAIT! That's MY Fed X truck! Fed X-ee you came back for me! Now We can defeat the Titans! Hahahahahahahahaha!" He jumped in and drove off.

"Okay my trusty truck side kick, let's find the Titan's tower!" He drove on and on. He got bored and turned on the radio. X put on the weather channel. The announcer said "We have a horrible tornado coming to Jump City so stay indoors!" X laughed and said "Nothin' keeping me from getting revenge! Bring it on you little wind storm!" He drove for a while and saw the tornado, it was about 100 feet high. "Maybe a little wind storm WILL stop me..." He tried to drive away but the tornado came too fast, it reached him and swirled him around. "I think I'm gonna puke..." he said. He looked out the window and couldn't believe his eyes. "What the Hell?" he shouted as he saw his former boss out side the window. "Why if it isn't Red X! How ya been kiddo?" he said to X. X was trying to answer but the guy flew off in the wind. "Stupid queer, serves him right" X exclaimed. Next Beast Boy came by on a Mo-ped and laughed like a witch. X said "That's just wrong..." Then a cow came and hit BB. X was in shock as the truck came tumbling down to the ground.

X slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times. When he fully opened his eyes he saw a bunch of tiny little deformed looking people. (A/N They are from the same dimension as Larry) X said "Who the hell are you people?" All the little people said "Oooooo, he cussed!" X said "You people are pathetic if you think Hell is a bad word!" The people flinched. One came foward and said "We wish to thank you for crushing the wizard!" X said "What? When did I do that?" The same one said "Over there! Your truck crushed the wizard!" X looked at the truck with BB's feet from under it. He got close to inspect them and said "Ew! Does this guy wash his feet?" The people shrugged. Then the feet curled up and then BB popped out and said "Dude! I was trying to ride my Mo-Ped here!" The people said "Ooooooo" and a group of voices were heard. BB ran off. X said "Hey I just relized that you people are like the Munchcins!" The person from before said "Well... We are refered to as sub humans!" X said "Why?" The person continued "Well we were going to call our selves some kind of sweet name but look what happened to the munchcins!" he pulled out a box of Dunkin' Donuts and showed him the box of Munchcins. X said "EW! That's where they get the ingredients for those donuts?" The people nodded. X said "Excuse me while I puke..." The person said "We wish to grace you with presents!" X said "As long as it's not made from sub humans!" The people shook their heads. All of them ran up to X and stopped. X said "What? What did I do?" Then the people shouted "GROUP HUG!" They all hugged X. X shouted "Get off me you wretched little children!" They all got off and cried. X said "Sorry but I REALLY need to get home so if you can..." Then the same person from before said "Well then you should see the Wizard of... Of... here!" X said back "Okay... Where is this Wizard?" The people all said "Follow the blue brick road!" Then X said "Isn't it supposed to be yellow bricks?" The leader one said "Well it WAS but those Munchcins hogged all the yellow bricks so we bought the blue, besides, it matches our eyes!" X starred into the big blue eyes fixed on him. "Okay... You people have issues...Bye!" He sprinted through the road. "Bye Bye!" They all shouted.

X was running down the road and had no idea why the road of blue bricks stopped. He just wondered around until he relized that his truck had been following him. "Well that's not something you see every day..." Then Raven came up from the ground. "Oh no! Another Titan!" X shouted. Raven said "Oh hi... whatever... Um I'm here to tell you that I'll ruin the plot by telling you that I want to catch you and feed you to my ex boyfriend Rorek the dragon that betrayed me." X said "Why? What did I do?" Raven replied "You stole my socks..." X looked disturbed and yelled "I didn't steal any friggen socks!" Raven sighed and said "Look at your socks" X looked down to see 2 socks on his feet that said Raven on them. X laughed and said "I don't suppose you know how they got there?" Raven said "No, you stole them, how would I know? And now for no apparent reason I'll leave..." She took a paper out of her robe and said "Do I really have to say this next part?" Then a voice out of no where said "Yes Raven, now read it!" Raven sighed and said "I'll get you...M-m-my...P-p-pret-t-t-ty... Ugh, glad that's over... And your Fed X truck too" X just replied "This is getting WAY outta hand..." Raven went into the ground. X said "This had better be a dream..." Then a voice said "Ya want me to pinch you?" X freaked out and said "Who the heck?" Then Robin came out and said "Me stupid!" X said "Where the hell do you all come from?" Robin chuckled and said "I came from a mommy and a daddy that LOVED each other and decided to have..." X then screached "Bla bla bla, I'm not listening!" Robin said "Well that's rude! By the way Do you know where I can find a heart? I need to disect one for biology!" X was looking at him and said "I-I-I have to go now..." Robin stopped him and said "Hey where are ya goin' any way?" X said "To go ask a wizard to get me home" Robin shouted out "Hey let me come! I can get a heart!" X said "If you leave me alone you can come." Robin nodded and jumped into the truck.

They kept going for miles, Robin kept saying "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we..." X turned red and shouted "Shut that over sized boom box you call a mouth!" Robin stopped at an instant. "Hey X..." he started. X said "Stop!" "But..." "No!" "But you're going to hit Beast Boy!" X shouted "What? Oh CRAP!" he stopped short in front of the boy. "Hey! You're that jerk who crushed my Mo-Ped!" BB said "Yeah sorry about that..." X said. BB said "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" X replied, confused "What are you on?" BB laughed and said "Why is less more? You know _Less is more, less is more_." X looked at Robin, who said "Um... Beast Boy lacks a brain... He looses his train of thought in mere seconds." X said "I suppose we should take him with us..." BB said "The Brady Bunch, the Brady bunch, that's the way they became..." Robin and X shouted back "Shut up!" and pulled him into the truck.

The three continued on into the woods. BB said "Aren't there creepy things in the woods?" X said "You can change into these things, you shouldn't be afraid." BB said "You're a sorcerer Harry!" Robin shouted "I love that book! Harry Potter rocks!" X said "I hope we get there soon, because you 2 don't know how much I hate you..." Then BB shouted "Bear!" X said "That's no bear, it's Cyborg!" Cyborg screamed like a little girl and ran away. X jumped out and said "Let me guess, you need courage." Cyborg said "Nope, I just have an irrational fear of Fed X trucks..." X said "Too bad you're coming with us!" The 3 teens grabbed Cyborg and tried to drag him in. "No! No! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! I don't wanna go in there! The boxes! They all won't leave me alone!" X slapped his head and replied "I suppose we should get you to a bathroom before you wet the truck..." Cyborg chuckled and said "Um... Kinda late for that...hehe..." X said "Ew..."

The 4 teens traveled onto the castle that was in view. Before they could get there a pack of flying sqirrels swooped down and snatched up the truck. Cyborg said "Did I mention I also have an extreme fear of FLYING SQUIRRELS!" BB said "YAY! We get a free ride! I hope we go to Disney land!" Robin said "Well, the bright side to all this is that I could get a good grade in photography! Look at this view!" X said "Hey Raven! Why squirrels?" Raven appeared on the truck and said "Well the witches of specific directions bought all the monkeys. Curse them..." X said "Hey I have an idea!" He started the truck out of no where and Raven flew off into a lake. She surfaced and said "I suppose I'm supposed to melt...Ahhh I'm...Melting..." She jus flew off with a bored expression. X said "Is this just me or is this NOTHING like the Wizard of Oz?" The squirrels dropped them in front of the Castle. A pair of eyes looked at them and said "I can't let you pass." X just picked up a twig and poked the pair of eyes. "OW! That hurt! My eyes!" X just said "So are you gonna let us in?" The person said "Very well...My eyes..." X revved the truck and crashed threw the door. The 3 that didn't have a clue of what happened, looked at the wreck X made. All the sub humans were twitching and one said "My leg!" (A/N that's from Spongebob when some big wreckage comes one guy always yells "MY LEG!") X drove onto the room where they saw a giant, creepy head. "What have you come for?" it demanded. X said "We want something and you better give it to us!" The head said "Sure why not?" and a curtain opened and Larry walks out. "Hi guys!" he squealed. X said "You? You were the one we were looking for?" Larry said "I guuuuuuuuueeeeeeessssssss..." Cyborg said "Then I want my fears to go away!" Larry said "Okay! I'll make you watch horror movies until you learn that you should fear things like vampires, not sqirrels!" Cyborg shouted "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't wanna!" But several sub humans dragged him away. BB said " Do YOU know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I can never do it with out biting..." Larry said "Okay brain dead, Your solution is simple!" Larry took BB's brain out through his ear and put it back in. X said "What did that do?" Larry laughed and said "It was in backwards! Oh and Robin...hmmm...Oh!" Larry opened Robin's mouth and crawlwed in and returned. "Here, I got your heart for you to disect!" Robin said "Thanks" in a distorted tone. Larry said "And you, Red X, you wanna go home?" X nodded. Larry said "Okay take Ravens socks, put them on like gloves, clap and say 'There's no place like home' 3 times!" X did so and nothing happened. "What happened you little freak? This didn't work!" Larry cracked up and said "S-s-sorry it's just so funny to see people do that! I'll just zap you home!" "Ass hole..." X said to him as Larry zapped him.

X woke up and said "What a weird adventure..." He noticed he was in his Fed X truck. "Woah, good, I'm back in my truck...Now to get my revenge on the Titans!" He drove off.

Sorry that was really pointless but I liked it. The rest of the story is gonna be like Red X in Fed X, so hopefully it'll be better than this chapter. R+R and no flaming please and thanks reviewers of Red X in Fed X.


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